Just when you thought puberty was your last hormonal hurrah, say hello to perimenopause, the body chemical avalanche of middle age.
Look, we aren’t going to sugarcoat things here. Perimenopause might happen to all cisgender women, but just because it’s natural doesn’t mean it isn’t annoying, confusing, and even downright debilitating.
Never really heard of perimenopause, or think you’re too young to start experiencing it? You’re far from alone.
Menopause is the big M word that’s on most women’s minds. You probably already know what’s ahead in your 50s and beyond: a forever halt to your menstrual cycle accompanied by achy joints and muscles, wrinkled skin and thinner hair, and an unrelenting desire to eat dinner at 4PM so you can hit the hay by 7. Menopause is just an unavoidable part of, let’s face it, getting old in a female body, and it’s well-documented (and loathed).
But what’s confusing the ever-loving-hell out of women in their 30s and 40s is, very likely, the start of perimenopause. As its name suggests, this life stage is the very start of your menopausal cycle. Before completely giving up the ghost that is your period via lowered estrogen, perimenopause jump-starts hormonal changes that wildly affect testosterone and progesterone as well.
Generally, estrogen starts to tank during perimenopause, but so can the body’s other two, main hormones that regulate everything from sex drive to body odor to sleep quality. However, during ‘peri,’ as some ladies call it, all 3 of these hormones can also drastically rise or otherwise fall out of balance, leading to a cascade of physical and mental health symptoms that can feel like early-onset dementia or an autoimmune disease.
If you think you’re in perimenopause or are experiencing any of the symptoms we discuss in this article, talk to an MD who specializes in women’s health in order to rule out a more serious condition or a vitamin and mineral deficiency. Perimenopause is more common for women in their late 40s and early 50s, but the medical industry is increasingly discovering that some women become perimenopausal as young as 32.
Until your doctor’s appointment rolls around, take comfort in the fact that all the weirdness emanating from your body and brain can (probably) be addressed and managed with a doctor who understands perimenopause and the best way to treat it based on your medical history. As we now know, you’re actually not too young to start seeing these major, physiological changes.
Sex Aversion
It doesn’t matter if you have, or once had, the sex drive of a cat in heat. During perimenopause, testosterone levels can drop along with estrogen, creating a recipe for a dead bedroom disaster.
It’s one thing to have a low sex drive, which is most common during peri and menopause. Maybe you prefer sex 3 times per week now instead of your once usual 5-7, or you just don’t have the energy to initiate sex with your partner after dinner the way you used to.
Sex aversion, however, goes one step beyond a low, but still existent, desire for partnered sex. Exactly as the name describes, you now feel literally averse to sex and sex-related touch. Now your partner’s hand feels dirty (in the negative, gross way) while cupping your breasts and kissing your neck from behind in the kitchen, or you silently recoil in disgust as they slide their fingers toward your genitals for a bout of morning copulation.
Sex aversion is feeling like you’d happily never have sex again, and you wouldn’t even miss it.
Not all couples have relationships that rely heavily on sex, nor is it a requirement to maintain a good bond with your partner. For the average couple, though, some semblance of a sex life is necessary to stay connected and continue to grow in love as you both age.
Truth is, your testosterone and/or estrogen levels just might be low, and your brain is no longer getting the right signals to want sex. Low libido and sex aversion are both big reasons to seek a doctor’s advice if you feel like your 30s and 40s are killing your sex drive far too early, as hormone replacement therapy can be helpful in regaining your pre-perimenopausal sexual needs. Sometimes, doctors may also add testosterone to their patient’s hormone regimen to revive sex drive and energy.
Downright Raunchy Body Odors
Is someone cooking greasy hamburgers or cutting onions and garlic? Nope! It’s just your local gal in perimenopause, stinking up the joint with some of the raunchiest body odors you’ve ever smelled.
Yep, you already guessed it: changing hormones affect your natural scents, too. Now, while you increasingly sweat from every pore on your body (another lovely little symptom of perimenopause), you find that multiple showers and your old, faithful brand of deodorant are no match for your new stank.
Additionally, the perimenopausal odor seems to emanate from anywhere that could possibly sweat, including (oh, yay!) your crotch, that swampy patch in-between and under your boobs, and your feet.
Some women claim that, post-shower, wiping down their stinkiest areas with glycolic acid is a near cure for the smell. Just be sure to do a patch test before trying out a new skincare product, as glycolic acid can be irritating and drying for sensitive skin.
Other women say that persimmon soap is also a good remedy for combating smelly pits and bits. Either way, you’re not imagining things, and your shower gel hasn’t stopped working. It’s just good ol’ perimenopause kicking up its heels again.
At your doctor’s recommendation, hormone replacement therapy can also help diminish most smell-related peri symptoms (and your need for 4 showers before it’s even dinner).
Night Sweats That Soak the Sheets
The a/c isn’t broken, and you don’t suddenly need a de-humidifier in your bedroom. One of the most common and sneaky symptoms of perimenopause is the sudden onset of night sweats.
Seemingly (and literally) overnight, you wake up drenched in sweat, your blanket and bed sheets soaked through. For many women, it’s this less-than-subtle sign that shakes them into investigating the odd health woes that wind up being part of perimenopause.
Beyond sweating alone, many women say they feel hotter in general (and not in a sexy kind of way, unfortunately). A cuddly partner may suddenly trigger newfound irritation as you struggle to stay cool in the evening, or the summer heat, which you used to love, now feels suffocating.
Hormones are, of course, to blame, and while sleeping with a lighter blanket or a fan might help temporarily, you’ll need to speak with a doctor to find a surefire, medical remedy to stop night sweats and improve your sleep.
The Bottom Line? You’re NOT Too Young for Perimenopause
Losing all interest in sex, randomly smelling like a gym rat, and waking up in a puddle aren’t signs of aging you should feel obligated to power (and suffer) through. We all age, and we all experience hormonal changes, but perimenopause and menopause don’t need to turn your life into a miserable existence.
For doctors who are less versed on perimenopause, the start of symptoms in your 30s and 40s can make diagnosis difficult, as some doctors simply cannot believe a woman can enter peri at such a so-called young age. We blame outdated medical information and a lack of medical research on women in general, which we can only hope will change in the future.
But as countless women can attest, peri can begin in your 30s or 40s, and there is a doctor out there who will be willing to listen and help you reclaim your life.
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